On fashion “rules”
As I write this, I’m swiftly approaching my 35th birthday and feeling more confident and comfortable in my own skin that I ever have. I’ve fully embraced my personal style and love myself enough to wear what I want and not be held down by what society may expect or prefer.
I was also recently struck by all the content created with titles like “what not to wear over 35”, “how to dress your age”, and “style rules for over (whatever age)”. Excuse me, but fuck right off with all that.
The first thing that bothers me about this type of rhetoric is that it assumes the reader wants to “fit in” and do what everyone else thinks is acceptable and normal and ok. Look, I know this might surprise some folks but I’ve noticed that a lot of my personal heroes actually became MORE body confident with age. One would hope that after decades of being told how to dress and what is appropriate, you eventually may come to the realization that actually you got this all on your own. You can dress yourself, you can decide what to eat, what to wear, what to read, who to vote for, and on and on. Sure, helpful tips and tricks and style inspiration are brilliant and I personally adore that kind of uplifting and empowering messaging. That’s not what this is.
There is so just much shaming in this “you can’t do that” media. I watched one video where the creator said something along the lines of “wearing crop tops after 30 is a ‘no no’. No one over 30 should be showing off your belly.” They went on to say that the exception is if said crop top is paired with high waisted bottoms so only a sliver of waistline is showing OR if you have a “rockin’ body” to go right ahead and expose that midriff. Please, are we really still telling women its great to show off your body if its society’s standard of beauty but if its not, omg cover that up immediately? This particular video also stated that women over 35 are to wear nothing too short, nothing too tight, nothing too loose. Oh ok, thank you for clearing that up.
I’ve read several things that are blatantly classist in this genre. You’re also expected to be able to just “stop buying fast fashion” and “invest in designer pieces”. Now, I’m all for people moving away from fast fashion for many reasons but it has to be said that it just isn’t that simple for most people who wear clothing on their bodies. There are many reasons people consume fast fashion, a big one being because they can afford to purchase these looks that they love and feel good in. Stating that by a certain age, you should be able to should want to start spending huge amounts of money on a single item of clothing is preposterous and gross.
I love that we all have different bodies and styles and ways of self expression. What is comfortable for me may not be your cuppa, and vice versa. YES! That’s exactly how it should be.
All I’m saying is, let’s celebrate who we are and what makes us different from our neighbor. Let’s stop feeding this monster that shames us no matter what we choose. Be you. Pay no mind to someone who gives you rules on how to adorn your own body. Be minimal, if you want. Be gaudy, if you want. Be colorful. Be subdued. Be modest. Be bare. Be trendy. Be daring. Whatever makes you feel confident, comfortable, and at home in your personal presentation. Break the rule, if you want. You’re not going to hurt anyone.
WEAR WHAT YOU WANT.